Super Volcano

Right, well initially, when I stumbled upon this 2022 TV movie titled "Super Volcano" here in 2023, I wasn't really harboring much of any expectations. Why? Well, the vast majority of natural disaster movies turn out to be disaster movies themselves, and not in a good way. But every now and again comes a movie that proves to break the formula and be rather enjoyable. And on that notion, I opted to sit down and watch "Super Volcano". And the instant you see those two dreaded words on the screen - The Asylum - any expections you might have had just drop down a couple of notches, doesn't it? The Asylum isn't exactly known for their stellar movies, but they do pop out a fairly watchable movie every now and again. "Super Volcano" from writer Marc Gottlieb and director Jared Cohn wasn't one of those movies. The storyline in the movie was generic, so very, very generic. It is one of those type of movies where you have a natural disaster threatening the majority of the world and a very unlikely small group of individuals singlehandedly manages to thwart disaster and the end of the world, all the while the major environment players in the game never are seen or heard from in the movie. Well, if generic natural disaster movies is your thing, then you're in for a treat here in the hands of director Jared Cohn, no doubt about that. The acting performances in the movie were fair enough. Sure, you're not in for an evening of Shakespearian theater here, no doubt about it. But I will say that the actors and actresses in "Super Volcano" actually put on good enough performances. Visually then the movie sort of fizzled. There was no sense of any threat from the volcano eruptions, whatever little there actually was of that in the movie, and the special effects were not overly impressive. Passable, sure, but nothing outstanding. "Super Volcano" wasn't all that super. And the movie sort of came and left without leaving much of a mark on anything. It is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time. Nor is it a movie that I will recommend to fans of natural disaster movies. The best part about "Super Volcano", and I kid you not here, was the movie's cover/poster. My rating of "Super Volcano" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.

I always like a good disaster movie. Volcanoes, tornadoes, asteroids... the more the better. It's more about the spectacular scenes than Oscar-quality acting of course. But this...this was really bad. Typing this I am looking at a CGI scene of an airfield with a C-17 aircraft and some military tents. It is like a bad animation movie. Or a photo of a scenery built with Lego. Another scene has all kinds of aircraft in it, it feels like you're switching from a real movie to a cartoon-like experience. What a waste of money and energy this is. How can anyone who was involved in this movie think they would get away with this?

The tone is set right away with some terrible cg effects of a blowing volcano and debris. Comical is something that describe about this movie. The acting and the implausible story telling are quite evident. Maybe it was supposed to be campy. I don't know but it sure comes out as such. No real character development just studies in caricatures. And the dialogue seems to be written by an elementary school student. I like a disaster movie like the next guy but could not look past its laughable story line, amateurish special effects and sub-par acting. Don't waste your time on this one. Be forewarned.

I only gave it two stars because despite its badness it is still a little better than I could do with my freemium video editor and a handycam. However, there is no excusing the tired tropes exploited in this story..the divorced parents, precocious kids, Tony-Stark wannabe, and eeeevil govt. Agencies.. It is also hard to judge the acting, which might be above mediocre but who can tell because the dialogue is just...well...bad. As for the science aspect of this picture, I cannot emphasize its badness enough. WAS there a volcanology consultant involved? If not, did any of the writers even crack open a middle school science book? Honestly this movie's only real redeeming quality is its capacity as laugh-fodder. It's a certified turkeyburger.