Geo-Disaster

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, The Asylum do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out. The marginally good news about 'Geo-Disaster' is that there are worse films from The Asylum, ones that are even more amateurish, intelligence insulting and ones that blatantly rip off infinitely superior films more cheaply. The bad news is that that doesn't stop 'Geo-Disaster' from being dreadful in every way imaginable and having all the trademarks of what makes an Asylum film so bad. 'Geostorm' may not have been a good film at all, among the bottom half of the films from 2017 for me, but it is a classic compared to this disaster that may have been released two weeks before but was still made to capitalize on that film's release. Just for the record, giving a film the lowest possible rating is incredibly rare for me these days, trying to be a fair reviewer trying to see the good in everything viewed. That rating is only reserved for films etc. that look like no effort or heart was put into it and like nobody was trying, a cardinal sin in film but actually not committed all that often. 'Geo-Disaster', and a lot of The Asylum's output for that matter, is one such film. Visually, 'Geo-Disaster' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. Even worse are some of the most laughable and pathetic-looking special effects to be seen on celluloid, actually looking they were done as an afterthought and on the small remainder of the money they had left. Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. Even for The Asylum, the script is so awkward, cheesy and improvisatory-sounding that it is enough to make the toes curl in how awful it is. There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. 'Geo-Disaster' is basically non-stop dullness and intelligence-insulting ridiculousness, with unintentional humour because of the excessive cheese, bouts of mawkish and stilted melodrama and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. As for the acting it is appalling all round with no exceptions, the amateurish quality is just embarrassing. It doesn't even have dependable actors giving career-worst performances, that's how bad it was and it wasn't a case of the actors forgetting their acting skills. Instead they were completely deprived of them in a mix of histrionics and looking disengaged. Concluding, a disaster. 1/10 Bethany Cox

GEO-DISASTER is another of the Asylum 'mockbusters' designed to cash in on the big Hollywood hits of the modern day. This one copies the big-bucks disaster flick GEOSTORM and tells of an asteroid heading towards Earth which causes the planet to undergo many natural disasters at the same time: volcanoes, earthquakes and twisters, all in the Los Angeles area. Inevitably the usual family are caught up in the events and travel from one set-piece to the next. With limited acting, awful CGI effects and a hackneyed storyline which has already been done multiple times, GEO-DISASTER is, yes, a disaster of a movie.

This is another Asylum disaster film (ambiguity intended) designed to confuse you when you go to buy or rent "Geostorm." Black matter hits the earth and punctures a hole straight through it. I am not sure how that would work, but if Asylum presents it, I know it can't happen. Typical formula is a family is divided, world coming to an end, dad works to reunite the family while saving the world, and John Rhys-Davies commands European forces. Remarkably John Rhys-Davies wasn't in the film and dad isn't trying to save the world. (That used to make the plot silly.) This is the same CG stuff from other Asylum films, in fact I think they used the same volcano scene from "Lavalantula." In the film when dad is driving out of town, you can see him driving through a red light. Apparently they had the streets blocked off for the scene and let the lights do what the want. Teens were overly moody. Made for TV.

I often find these cheap disaster movies terribly funny...but this was just awful. So terribly awful I kept skipping it. The animations are the worst, and the story is all over the place. There was no need to do a cutscene and show the character's location every time, and each cutscene was far, far too long. You probably could have shortened the movie by a good 5 minutes by cutting them out. The acting was bad, but not the worst I've seen, but the writing and story was awful, and offered no explanation to what was happening. The "1 year later" felt like 1 day later. They waited 1 year to send rescue teams to the city? 1 year before the top scientific leader asked what they learned? And that woman who got her leg caught under a truly massive piece of concrete, probably worth 1 ton and simply walked off, forgetting she was hurt and limped few times. Yes these movies are bad, they usually have bad acting, writing, storyline and graphics..But this was off the walls bad. Don't even try it, even if you do like these movies.

Truly terrible awful diabolical movie. Wooden acting (I'm sure the, erm, actors kept forgetting their lines), comedy "special" effects and a script that made me cringe. It has to be watched to appreciate just how bad this movie is! Enjoy!

Just plain awful, the characters are just bad and tedious, you don't care about any single character. The effects are crap, they must have been bought from a stock page. The story is dumb so there is no point in talking about it. Do not watch this crap.