Hidden in the Woods

Two sisters are raised in isolation by their monstrous abusive father Oscar Crocker (well played to the deliciously despicable hilt by Michael Biehn). Oscar gets put in jail for killing two cops. However, now the two sisters have to deal with ruthless local drug kingpin Uncle Costello (William Forsythe in top slimy form), who's looking for missing merch that Oscar stashed in the woods. Director Patricio Valladares relates the grim and unpleasant, yet still gripping story at a constant pace, maintains a tough gritty tone throughout, offers a flavorsome evocation of the downhome country setting, presents a colorful array of skeevy low-life characters, and tops everything off with a wickedly amusing sense of pitch-black humor. Moreover, the moments of brutal'n'bloody violence pack a ferocious punch. Jeannie Kaspar and Electra Avellan are both excellent and heartbreaking as the battered, yet resilient and resourceful sisters. Mark Burnham likewise impresses as the vicious Bull Dog. A rough'n'tumble little winner.

This review is for the US remake of the Chilean film. Dad (Michael Biehn) deals drugs, mom is dead. Dad sire son from oldest daughter Ana (Jeannine Kaspar) who they keep locked up, but seems normal. Anny (Electra Avellan) is the younger daughter and excuse me if I have them confused. Dad winds up in prison and the girls hide out in a shack, used by their dad. They actually don't make it to any woods until there is 16 minutes left in the film and it doesn't last long. Uncle Costello (William Forsythe) sends his goons to find the girls and the drugs. This felt like an abduction film. They didn't build the girl's character enough to make you feel for them, as if Director Patricio Valladares was simply using them like the Johns in the film. Some good performances, but the plot seemed weak. Guide: F-word, rape, sex, brief nudity? Note to self: If you are sitting on 30 kilos, don't teach your kids 911.

Please retire from the movie making business with your dignity somewhat intact, rather than subjecting yourself....and the world.....to shlock like THIS. 🤢

The very idea of transposing a story so obviously set in a machismo banana republic to America is idiocy on a level all its own. But apart from that, I'm having trouble deciding which was more painful here: The amateurish writing, the cheap iPhone look of the digital photography, the incompetent editing, the dead-voiced rendition of Amazing Grace over the end credits, or the knowledge that Michael Biehn has fallen so far as to produce and headline in dreck like this. The fact that I managed to sit through this mess should be testament to my tolerance level, as should the fact that I've given the film two stars rather than one, just because it has William Forsythe in it. Even he can't do anything with the ridiculous clichés he's given to work with, though. I'm sure someone will tell me that I should watch the original to see a better version. But I'm not going to. If the second time around is this bad with the same director at the helm, how good can the first one be?

First of all if you're looking for an Academy Award winning ground breaking high budget blockbuster film you can skip this one. I first watched this film within the past year and now I've seen it a half a dozen times. It has so much going for it that I never tire from reviewing. Michael Biehn stars in his most sadistic and downright mean character to date and delivers a brilliant performance. William Forsythe adds to the mix beautifully as usual. The cast overall meshes perfectly as well. I'm not going to spoil any plot points but I will say if you enjoy horror, thriller, and/or action films this one blends the genres effortlessly so this might be for you. I like the gritty, backwoods feel which umbrellas the atmosphere of the movie. This remake sports the same director as the original so the intentions are not lost. Finally there are great one-liners in the excellent script. One warning though: If you are squeamish when in comes to uncomfortable domestic situations and cold blooded murder then you might want to opt for Dory or Madea.

Imagine if family favourite 'The Dukes of Hazzard' had been produced by Freddie Krueger, this is the kind of thing you might have ended up with. Raucous, coarse, loaded with every variation of every expletive you have ever heard; brutal, violent and completely ridiculous, 'Hidden in the Woods' is, if you're in the right mood, highly entertaining. There's nothing like a father's love, is there? "Nobody messes with my babies," says Oscar Crooker (Michael Biehn) at one point. To list the depravities this man has subjected his 'babies' to would be to venture into spoilers. He's a phenomenally diabolical character - and he's in good company. The atrocities heaped on various characters are relentless and appalling, but there's a dank humour in there also, and despite being shocking, the films is a highly entertaining way of spending just over 90 minutes. 7 out of 10.

Imagine if family favourite 'The Dukes of Hazzard' had been produced by Freddie Krueger, this is the kind of thing you might have ended up with. Raucous, coarse, loaded with every variation of every expletive you have ever heard; brutal, violent and completely ridiculous, 'Hidden in the Woods' is, if you're in the right mood, highly entertaining. There's nothing like a father's love, is there? "Nobody messes with my babies," says Oscar Crooker (Michael Biehn) at one point. To list the depravities this man has subjected his 'babies' to would be to venture into spoilers. He's a phenomenally diabolical character - and he's in good company. The atrocities heaped on various characters are relentless and appalling, but there's a dank humour in there also, and despite being shocking, the films is a highly entertaining way of spending just over 90 minutes. 7 out of 10.

Two sisters are raised in isolation by their monstrous abusive father Oscar Crocker (well played to the deliciously despicable hilt by Michael Biehn). Oscar gets put in jail for killing two cops. However, now the two sisters have to deal with ruthless local drug kingpin Uncle Costello (William Forsythe in top slimy form), who's looking for missing merch that Oscar stashed in the woods. Director Patricio Valladares relates the grim and unpleasant, yet still gripping story at a constant pace, maintains a tough gritty tone throughout, offers a flavorsome evocation of the downhome country setting, presents a colorful array of skeevy low-life characters, and tops everything off with a wickedly amusing sense of pitch-black humor. Moreover, the moments of brutal'n'bloody violence pack a ferocious punch. Jeannie Kaspar and Electra Avellan are both excellent and heartbreaking as the battered, yet resilient and resourceful sisters. Mark Burnham likewise impresses as the vicious Bull Dog. A rough'n'tumble little winner.