Air Buddies

Like a preacher needs pain, Like a needle needs a vein, I feel the need to watch awful dog films. Fact. This is exactly what you'd expect from a series of films that should have stopped after the first one, or from a large corporation like Disney manufacturing children's films. It is the archetype of a bad children's film, written in a day on the back of a napkin. It is painful to watch, particularly whenever the sheriff's dog starts talking. The most fun you will get out of watching this is by trying to work out what accent the villain is trying to pull of. Cockney? South African? Swedish? Some unholy mixture of all Germanic languages in a blender? Seriously, don't bother. There are good films, there are entertainingly bad films, and there are stale, manufactured children's films like this one.

Dear Richard, I know we all loved you on Home Improvement with Tim Allen. But seriously, do you not have anything else to do besides lame sequels to Air Bud? I would have thought Tim might have actually give you a bit role by now or even becoming his personal assistant. I know that seems ironic, but the pay benefits are much more rewarding. Everybody would see you around Tim and instantly think "Tool Time". You would even get roles with Bob Vila more often. Instead, you appear for 10 minutes with a Golden Retriever and smiling. I know there wasn't much of a script, but you could have added to it. I mean, come on. Tim owes you one. But seriously, this movie does nothing for the Air Bud line. Quite the contrary, the fake talking puppies are cornier than actually seeing the dogs play sports. The original was better. And you, Mr. Richard Karn, know that more than anybody. This is an "F" movie.

My 7-year-old daughter loved it, as Disney execs crassly calculated that she would. That's the problem with "Air Buddies." It's a strictly by-the-numbers children's film filled with carefully calculated cuteness, a couple politically correct morals, and enough potty humor to avoid the dreaded G rating. As a parent, or even as a 10-year-old, you've seen it all before, and done better before. Think "101 Dalmatians Meets Home Alone" and you get the general idea. I'm of the opinion that a good children's story is a good story, period. "Air Buddies," which is about as original as recycled paper, fails to meet that standard. It isn't the worst video your child could watch, but there are megatons of better ones.