Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe

This film is so awful - anyone with a good sense of humor MUST see it. I laughed more in this movie than any intentional comedy I've seen in years. Atrocious dialogue. Strange, creepy scenarios featuring Jesse Ventura and a mute little boy that were supposed to be emotional and touching but seemed to accidentally imply some kind of molestation. Random lines about the "comater" and the "anti-life equation," which are never explained. Attempted humor that is so not funny it's hilarious. Extremely painful soundtrack. A desperate Jim Belushi cameo with a progression of dialogue that ends up making no sense. Everyone must see this movie. Show your friends. Besides Joseph Merhi's "Mayhem," this is the funniest terrible movie I've ever seen.

During the decline of the VHS, I used to troll Dollar store movie bins and snap up every piece of crap movie I could find. Abraxas is up there in my worst movies collection along with The Elimnators and Frasier the Sensual Lion (or Frasier the Friendly Lion, the title on the box doesn't match the title in the film). Abraxas has some of the most awkward scenes and dialogue of any film ever made. I find it extremely comforting to know that I am not the only person here changed by that amazing scene where Jesse the Body Ventura tries to bond with the alien hybrid child but, to the viewers horrified amazement, seems to be coming on to him. This film is an absolute trainwreck and every car is spewing laughing gas.

ABRAXAS , GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE .Chessy low-budget film a cross between terminator and time-cop well worth the watch, great one liners, poor effects but hey more than makes up for it in some of the fight scenes and dialogue. music with this film is awful soft jazz through out just turn your ears off .With a few more bucks this film could have been a half decent flick but like all low budget films resources are not always available .But if your stuck one evening and want to have a laugh and pick out the worst and best parts of the film worth the look.I am sure that the film would make an impression on your mind but only for a few minutes. But i enjoyed it in a sad funny way

I was at our local dollar shopping center when I saw the DVD's in the slim little cases with 2 movies, one on each side. I was about to go with a werewolf movie when I saw this 2 sided piece of gold. I quickly changed my decision and picked up this movie and Slipstream. I was so glad. This movie is hilarious. The plot is EXACTLY the same as The Terminator and has so many similar scenes it should be sued. The bad guy tried so hard to be Arnold and failed, but it's classic. Be warned though- this movie is completely full of chase scenes that go on forever and suck but are fun to watch. Also there are these guys at this outpost who never shut up. The best part by far is Jesse Venturas facial expressions. Classic. Also watch for the worst fight scenes ever. If you ever come across this for 5 or less bucks, buy it. But don't go any higher....or it's a waste.

the big question is, as professional wrestlers go, does Jesse "the Body" Ventura make a better actor than governor of a mid-West state with economic troubles? And the answer is: No. Whew! for a minute there, I thought we were going to have problems. Except for the Body himself, the acting in this film is pretty good, and the script and direction indicate that there is a real vision here, and that the writer-director has some talent worth developing. The scene in the burning warehouse where the young boy is being tracked down by the bad-guy is genuinely scary. However, the low budget prevented this film from reaching any potential - beyond that of an enjoyable throwaway for Saturday afternoons when the weather's ho-hum and you're looking for some excuse not to mow the lawn. but on that level, as forgettable filler, it's not so bad.

Okay, so it's really lame and cheesy, but see it anyway. Picture a poorly acted version of T-2, with more or less the exact same plot, and you'll have a good idea of what Abraxas is all about. But seriously, it's pretty cool, in some odd way. And besides, Jesse "The Governor" Ventura is in it!