The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood

The film here is about The Happy Hooker book being transformed into a movie with the help of the author's prostitutes. OK movie with a bunch of filler scenes and a lot of nudity.

This film deserves credit for its high camp value. It is a film very typical of the early 1980's desires to mix glamor, comedy and camp. This film has a definite sexploitation angle. The beautiful Martine Beswick delivers a playful tongue in cheek performance as the happy hooker who travels to Hollywood to get her memoirs filmed. I can not imagine Ms. Beswick toke this film serious and decided upon to play it for laughs. She got style and carries off some of the sex scenes without loosing her dignity. If you value high camp this film is worth seeing. You will not be disappointed. There are many silly one liners, hard to believe dialog, glamorous starlets and men chasing them for sex. The film moves quickly and never dwells too much on the same scene. I give this film a vote of 8 simply because it has all the ingredients of a campy b film classic. And if you like these kind of guilty pleasures you will not be disappointed.

How do you give a logical review to such a silly movie? The "funny" part is that it actually tries to be serious at times. Though the Happy Hooker is pleasant to look at (since she's * most of the time)the rest is a BORE. Poor Adam West, (TV's Batman) proves once again he can't get a good part. Leap'n Lizards Batman!

By the way, that's A-dult (A like "ham," dult like the regular saying). Anyhow, "The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood" is one of those films that are like, "Uhh...I really shouldn't be seeing this stuff!!!!!" Yes, I know this movie is chock full of nudity. I can tell because I heard that Batman is * in this movie! (The Fox Batman, as you can tell; not the WB Batman!) How surprising, I may never see Batman again! "Holy (insert any word here), Batman! How can you get to that point in your career!," as Robin would say. (I'm sure he'd be *, too). That's my reaction to this naughty little flick. Heck, even those bots of MST3K fame would never riff it, because it's that naughty! While this movie gets ten stars, you'll need to bless your home theater center after this for that bad thing you watched on it!!!!! Then, you'll need to find a better flick than this!

If your idea of fun is watching Adam West dance and simulate receiving oral sex, by all means, enjoy. Otherwise, this may very well be the worst movie I've seen made in the 80's. And I've seen SQUEEZE PLAY. Phil Silvers was in this, too. And Rob Petrie's boss.

This movie purports to show us the background to how the orginal "Happy Hooker" movie was made (with Lynn Redgrave in the original). Hollywood parties abound with producers telling Xavier how successful the movie will be. Imn fact, both movie, this and original look like they were made on about $30 budget, with compellingly awful 1970's cheapo production values. Martine Beswick has a nice figure, but hardly worth the intellectual insult required to make it to those scenes. Absolutely ghastly in about every sense.

There aren't many movies that have a scene where Adam West is * in an Austin Powers way and has a famous madame go down on him while he takes a long satisfying puff on a cigarette, but here with this early Cannon film, which was the third and final in the series* of films about Xaviera Hollander, a Dutch call girl who grew up in a Japanese-run internment camp and going on to be New York City's top madame before writing the best-selling The Happy Hooker: My Own Story, acting in My Pleasure Is My Business, releasing a board game and recording the album Xaviera! Which has spoken word thoughts on sex, her singing The Beatles' "Michele" and then some early JOI content including her having audio sex with Toronto rock star Ronnie Hawkins. Martine Beswick (Zora in From Russia With Love, Paula Caplan in Thunderball, a cavewoman named Nupondi who battles Racquel Welch in One Million Years B. C., Sister Hyde in Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, the Queen of Evil in Oliver Stone's Seizure, plus From a Whisper to a Scream, Critters 4 and the Fred Olen Rey movie Cyclone; more people should be worsipping her) is Xaviera, who has been flown to Hollywood to discuss the movie of her life that se doesn't want to make. She'd rather just have fun with her business, which she's still a very hands - and other body parts - on part of, servicing a cop played by Dick Miller in the first scene. Martine may be following Lynn Redgrave and Joey Heatherton in the role, but if she can't measure up to their acting - actually, she totally does - she's more willing to toss off her clothes. Warkoff Brothers Studios - run by Phil Silvers! - wants to get the signature from her to mae this, but they want it cheap, so they use Lionel Lamely (West) to get her to fall in love. Come on, people. This is the Happy Hooker! She turns the tables by getting her girls to make the movie cheap and bringing young Warkoff Brothers exec Robby Rottman (Chris Lemmon) to her side, making an independent version of her film financed by horizontal assets. Her ladies are Tanya Boyd from Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks; January 1977 Playboy Playmate of the Month Susan Kiger from Death Screams; 1969 Miss Utah Lindsay Bloom who was Maybelle on The Dukes of Hazzard; twins Candi and Randi Brough and Dana Feller, who was only in one other movie, the Cannon weirdness that is Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype. This is the kind of movie that has Army Archerd play himself and satirize Hollywood while completely being Hollywood. But it's fun, all of the women have way more brains an agency than the men and maybe we can overlook that the end of the movie has Richard Deacon - yes, Mel Cooley from The Dick Van Dyke Show - and West dressed as women. And hey - Edie Adams is in this, too. It's total fluff, but the kind of fluff that makes me happy. There's never any real tension, nothing other than the trans jokes at the end that are troublesome and carefree late 70s nudity. 15 year old me gives this movie unlimited stars; 49 year old me can't believe that I still watch and write about stuff like this. *There are two other movies inspired by her, The Life and Times of Xaviera Hollander and The Best Part of a Man.

The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood (1980) follows the "Happy Hooker" to Hollywood. Whilst in movie land she brings along her crew of prostitutes and associates. "The world's most famous madam" goes Hollywood when some sleazy studio types try to get the Madam for all she's worth. Unlike the previous two, the film-makers tried to make it campy and sexy. Another actress plays the "Happy Hooker" this time around and she also get's into the act along with her co- workers. Strange support cast featuring Adam West (who get's real close to the Madam), Phil Silvers and Richard Deacon (Fred Rutherford from Leave it to Beaver) along with the unherald Chris Lemmon. What is there to say about this one? It's not as lame and tame as the first film but it's not as good as the second. If you ever wanted to see Adam West finally score or watch Fred Rutherford run around with a towel around his waste, then this is your picture. But if you want to watch something decent, find another film. For die hard fans of the Happy Hooker series. Not worth searching for. Not recommended for non-fans. C- x