The Guru

This movie is offensive. It plays on so many stereotypes. People who know nothing about India will walk out thinking that the country is nothing but holy cows, sexual monkeys, silly chanting, etc. The lead actor is British, not Indian. His attempts at an Indian accent are sad. And the jokes are simply not imaginative (example: "He's Indian? Oh, do you mean Native American? Ha ha ha!!").

Well, that's how I saw it. Half real Guru; half Mr Mcgoo, for those who can remember him, anyway. I don't know whether to recommend this movie or not, really, because I am so naturally biased when it comes to watching Heather Graham. Her last 'flop' was 'Killing Me Softly' which I enjoyed, even though it was widely, and probably rightly, panned. As I said then, I would pay to watch Ms Graham watch paint dry for 2 hours, except that on this occasion it was only 94 minutes, and then Mr Mistry was on screen for far longer, so I am not quite so biased on this occasion. I give it 5 out of 10. There were some funny lines/situations, and it may have been watchable without Heather Graham, I suppose...Why do critics generally slate her as an actress? She's actually rather good in this, so perhaps she could take on the mantle of major romantic comedy lead...or, failing that, I have a 2 hour script involving paint drying...

I think the power a trailer holds, can really manipulate people and it does in this case. "The Guru" was portrayed as a comedy that mixed Bollywood (please would they stop with that and just say the Indian film industry!)meets Hollywood. The fact that they got a British born Indian actor to play Ramu Gupta was silly has half the time he let's his Yorkshire accent slip through scenes. Heather Graham & Marisa Tomei are great actresses but I felt the writers didn't develop their characters at all. The most humourous thing about the movie is the * movie titles - "Star Whores: Episode 69". There were too many plot holes and it just didn't come together, although it was an alright film it's not something I would see again.

I can understand why Western audiences would lap up this stuff, considering that Bollywood has gained some mainstream appeal in recent times (and deservingly so)! But being an Indian myself, I couldn't help but belch at all these stereotypes! Shame on Jimi Mistry and all other Indian actors for agreeing to mock themselves at the hands of a Western director who couldn't tell sari from kurta! India is much more than tantric yoga and kama sutra, and its time Western audiences know that as well..

The hardest thing to write about when it comes to movies is the ones you really have no opinion about. This is one of those movies. It is just average all the way. Not a movie you remember for a long time but an OK movie to watch. The fact that this movie was OK surprised me cause the cover of the movies looks really really bad. This is a Bollywood meet Hollywood kind of movie. Or a fish out of water movie if you want. Ramu comes from India to the US in search of fame and fortune and this is where the story starts. The movie has some funny moments but after about 40 minutes it is not funny anymore so that is why this is just an OK movie, nothing more, nothing less. I rate this movie 5/10

Mistry stars as an immigrant from India who, through letters from a family member in America, dreams of fame and fortune and a life in cinema and song. Yet, when he ends up on a porno set, he can't perform on direction and his co-star takes him under her wing to show him how to command his body to perform to his own direction and he ends up selling that information, pretending to be the "Guru of Sex." This film is not my cup of tea. It had some funny moments in the film, but it was not a funny movie. The direction of this film was all over the place, but then that's maybe what the director was trying to achieve, in, which case, he succeeded. Marisa Tomei co-stars as a woman who holds his hand, thinking he's some spiritual guide, and Heather Graham co-stars as the woman who holds his heart, all the while, pretending that she hasn't touched it. Do I believe it? No. Did I like it? Yes, but I didn't love it, and the ending was a little too predictable. 4 out of 10 stars.

Lots of really pretty incidental music in this film, too. Truth be told, Jimi Mistry is so cute he makes me want to cry. A very fun couple of hours at the cinema...particularly if you've ever seen Indian films and are able to get the jokes.