The Captain's Table

This film was not designed to deliver "belly laughs" but gentle humour and it does this very well. Populated by genuinely beautiful ladies and not the plastic Barbie Frankenstein Doll horrors common in 2020. Add the bonus of glorious colour and it's a very pleasant way of passing time.

Hearing a drunken sailor (I think it was the captain himself)in this 61 year old delightful film, singing that nine word song to the tune of Onward Christian Soldiers, over and over again, for the first time in at least seventy years today, immediately caused me to increase my rating by two points, from 7 to 9. I know I'll be singing it again repeatedly for weeks and months and maybe even years to come!

This is the old fish-out-of-water plotline, in this case a tramp steamer captain is made temporary captain of a passenger liner after the regular captain becomes ill. The star, John Gregson had, a few years earlier, been in the sublime Genevieve, however this is nowhere near that level. It follows a fairly predictable path and is hardly innovative. Still, I found it fairly amusing, and a relatively painless way of spending an hour and a half. Looking at the DVD (incidentally, why is the DVD in 4:3 format when surely it would have been made in wide screen format) I was interested to note that it was produced by Joseph Janni , who in the sixties would go on to produce such films as A Kind of Loving, Billy Liar and Darling. Evidently, he had his finger on the pulse of evolving tastes.

A strange writing triumvirate of John ('The Devils') Whiting, Bryan Forbes and Nicholas Phipps (who also plays one of the passengers) turned Richard Gordon's 1954 novel into a virtual remake of 'Doctor at Sea', who's 'naughty' jokes, quirky supporting cast (most of whom plainly never left the obvious set with painted skies at Pinewood) and shiny Eastman Color photography coalesced soon afterwards for a third time into 'Carry On Cruising'.

This film has a great cast which is totally wasted on this unimaginative load of clichés.Most of the scenes in this film have been done so much better in other films.The jokes such as they are are so old that they have whiskers on.The crew constantly on the fiddle.Ronnie Shiner was rather better at this than Richard Wattis.Donald Sinden being asked to do his unfunny woman chaser from the Doctor series.John Gregson then at the hight of his stardom playing a rookie cruise Captain and Peggy Cummins with her designs on him.That marvellous actor Reginald Beckwith almost stealing the film.However the Big problem with this film is that is just not funny.

Silly comedy based on author Richard Gordon's first book. Gordon is best known as the creator of the 'Doctor' novels, some of which were successfully filmed for the big screen between 1954 and 1970, as well as spawning a seventies TV sitcom. 'The Captain's Table' is very much in the same style: a few near-the-knuckle gags, lots of pretty bikini-clad girls and a veritable host of old English stereotypes. Naughty vicars, camp stewards, sexy popsies and batty old ladies abound, but despite a super cast of comedy legends like Donald Sinden, Richard Wattis, John LeMesurier and Miles Malleson, the movie lacks any real fizz and fails to be even half as funny as its 'Doctor' cousins. Lead actor John Gregson is no match for Dirk Bogarde or Leslie Phillips, but Carry On star Joan Sims enlivens the proceedings with a cute cameo as a frumpy spinster. Worth a look, but don't expect too many hearty laughs.