Vampira

This movie is one of the most confusing things I've ever seen. Is it a bawdy comedy, a serious drama, a spoof horror, it can't decide. David Niven can't seem to pin down if he's playing a part that's more James Bond or Blofeld and to say the story arc of his character hasn't aged well is an understatement. Theres a few good moments and certainly plenty of titillating visuals, but mostly it's just puzzling what the heck they were going for. I guess it's one good point is it's certainly unique.

Is this what we watched in the 70's? Guess we did. Do not EVER compare this to a Mel Brooks FRANKENSTEIN classic, as one reviewer did. I am sorry for Niven for ever choosing to be in it. So black person's blood transfusion turns you black? Let's just say liberals TODAY would have a field day with this one. The only funny thing about it. At least no swearing.

Someone, please, bite THEM and put them out of their misery....really bad acting, really bad plot, yuck, yuck, yuck! yucky! This one is just so bad I can't believe that David Niven even lent himself to starring in this. He must have been short on cash to star in this dog. Oh, and the music! It's this music that is really trying to be hip and disco, don't forget, this was made in 1974, the start of the disco era. There are not enough words to say how bad this movie is, but I keep having to say them because IMDB will not let me post unless I have 10 lines! Please, if you see this advertised on TV, do not watch! It is a big waste of your time. Unless you are stoned or something and then maybe you would laugh your head off. Otherwise, stay away! On a scale of 10, I give it a 0!

This is a comedy about Dracula. Most comedies about Dracula are funny. This one is not. If a Dracula movie is not going to be funny then is should at lest be scary. This movie is not scary. It as an awful story line. The ending is awful. There are good actors in this movie. But they wasted there talent being in this awful movie. Do not wast your money. Do not see this movie. Do not wast your time. Do not see this movie. It is the comedy movie that sucks. There are a lot of comedy movie that suck. And this is one of them. This movie is pooh pooh. Do not see this movie. I need more line and I am running out of thing to say.

Vampira (also known as 'Old Dracula', presumably in the hope that someone would confuse it with the excellent 'Young Frankenstein', released in the same year) is a feeble spoof of vampire films for those who don't like either (a) vampires or (b) laughing. An aging Dracula attempts to revive his beloved Vampira with transfusions from Playboy bunnies, but the wrong blood sample somehow transforms her into Teresa Graves, so he goes to London to get more white blood cells. Niven lends some dignity to this mildly offensive nonsense, but it's tragically short on good jokes: 'Love at First Bite' did it much better, and even 'Dracula: Dead and Loving It' has more laughs.

Terrible comedy from once-respected British director Clive Donner, a modern-day Dracula tale told with a comedic bent, and with a bevy of Playboy models for victims (in case we missed which corporation these ladies work for, the Playboy Club in London is prominently featured). Vampire David Niven needs the blood of nubile playthings to keep wife Teresa Graves alive, and the only commendable thing you can say about this scenario is the relaxed way in which white men and black women interact sexually. The jokes are stale, the picture looks crummy, and the final gag is ridiculous. It took four more years to get a bloody good Dracula comedy, "Love at First Bite", which puts this one to shame. NO STARS from ****