In a Heartbeat

I love Danny Dyer and gave it half an hour trying to ignore the female leads terrible acting, expecting something to happen, but I gave up when it looked like more of the same was on the way. Should have known better after five excruciating minutes at the start watching her dribble about under a duvet in the park. Sorry Danny, even you can't save this one.

Terrible story if you can call it that, nothing gelled, pointless from start to finish and what the hell was that nightmare scene about? One of the worst films I've ever watched.

From start to finish it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. In one of the scenes Dyer and his mates are watching a horror film where there it would appear that a woman is being abused by a man but you don't actually see anything, Dyer says to his mates "This movie is crap, why are you watching this rubbish" and at this scene I thought, Ah ok it's meant to e satirical. Nope just a terrible director, script writer and when I tell you that Dyer was by far he best actor, I need say no more about that apart from the female lead Zoe Griesdale was appalling! It starts of with her acting scared and for some reason speaking in French then what sounds like garbled German with cockney English thrown in which is in fact how she speaks for the rest of the film and neither of them ever refer back to why the hell she was acing sooo mad. Finally we meet her abusive husband in the stupidest scene ever made who later in the film is at an airport which we are told by Griesdale is London Heathrow but in a later scene we see her being dropped to London City Airport, why make this sort of stupid scene, film making at it's worst!! Anyway, if you want to have a laugh and see how not to do it, try and give it ago with the warning that you will cringe so hard it'll hurt!

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. An abysmal script, nonsensical story and woeful acting make this unutterably boring film unwatchable. The American doctor is particularly awful and the angry drunk scene has to be seen to be believed. There are movies that are so bad, they're good, but this is not one of them. Sure, it's terrible, but it's so, so, so boring that I simply can't rate it higher than one star. A calamitous mess from start to finish and I have nothing positive to say about it whatsoever.

BLOODSHOT is an intense, would-be psychological thriller along the lines of the FATAL ATTRACTIONs of old. It's a low budget British romp, set and filmed in London, and it features a maverick special effects technician (played in his customary style by Danny Dyer) who rescues a confused young woman on the street and takes her back to his place. She ends up living with him, and a blossoming romance develops between the pair... Much of BLOODSHOT consists of scenes which go nowhere only to develop the slowest-moving narrative either. There are lots of horror elements in the script, from Dyer's ultra-gory work as a SFX guy to some absolutely ludicrous nightmare sequences that look like they belong in a cheap Jess Franco movie, but in terms of actual plotting and incident little happens. The scriptwriter is content to keep you guessing, building up to what I hoped would be a huge pay-off at the climax. Except that pay-off never happens; the story just fizzles away, leaving this a film as a whole where nothing happens. It's almost entirely without merit; the technical values are reasonable, but the acting is pretty diabolical. Dyer is his usual self but it's Zoe Grisedale who comes off the worst, looking completely out of her depth in such a demanding role. A couple of British film regulars appear here and there (Craig Conway and Keith Allen) but they add little to what is in essence a non-starter of a film.