Down Periscope

While it wasn't the disaster that I was expecting, "Down Periscope" is still nothing much. It was likable enough, but the laughs were few and far between, and the plot was as predictable as it gets. With a few more good jokes, I might have been able to recommend this picture, but instead I can only call it a decent time-killer at best. Ultimately, I think that most people will find it to be just another forgettable film.

This is one of my favorite movies. The combination of the off-beat Captain of the U. S. S. Rustbucket, Marty Pascal, XO and moron, and the evil Admiral whose after then, and the misfit crew all work to give laugh after laugh. My only objections is that as a 22 year veteran Commander and the Navy Nurse Corps I have one comment to make: Lt Lake, the dive beauty, is never in the right uniform with the right haircut. Probably small potatoes but the the end of the movie--where do they get those shoes? And her dress uniform is without a shirt. Throughout the movie her hair is always hanging lower than regulation. Of course, only a Navy type would notice this. Lauren Holley does a good just of being the only girl on a all-boy sub and putting up with the pranks without complaint. I love when they make Marty walk the plank!! He does say the best line in the movie "I feel I need a tetanus shot just looking at it" as he views the sub.

I love military comedies (Sgt. Bilko, Stripes, In The Army Now, Major Payne) and Down Periscope is hilarious, but it has a heart as well. The Stingray SS-161 (The USS Pampanito) was gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful, a piece of art come alive. So it was a diesel engine sub, so what? I learned that the Aircraft Carrier USS Ranger (which stood in for The Enterprise in Star Trek IV), a huge ship, was 'conventionally powered', which might mean that Ranger was a diesel too. My favorite scene: Pascal: Jesus, Buckman, this can's been on the stingray since Korea! This can expired in 1966! Buckman: (Takes finger full and tastes it) What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like creamed corn. Pascal: (Yelling) Except, it's DEVILED HAM!! Buckman: That would be a problem. It's story, perhaps a wee strained, seemed plausible. Winslow respected Dodge, and seemed to care about him, so he wanted to give Dodge a chance. He gave him a battered but still seaworthy Balao-class sub, and assigns him the task of using the diesel sub to evade the nuclear Navy and 'attack' Charlston Harbor, and Norfolk. 2-star Admiral Graham (with his eye on his third star, and a grudge against Dodge) assigned him the ragtag crew, hoping that they would screw up so Dodge would lose. Can Tom Dodge get the crew up to speed and working as a team, and can he take an old, out of date sub, and beat the Navy's best?

I like Kelsey Grammar very much and I was looking forward to seeing this movie when it first came out in theaters, so I was shocked by how bad it was--boring and juvenile with really bad jokes. I nearly fell asleep during it. If it wasn't for the fact that I was with someone else, I would have left before it was over, which I've only been inclined to do during two other theater movies. Given Kelsey's long career of higher-brow humor I was surprised by the low-brow humor. One of my least favorite movies. Might be OK for a 12-year-old boy who is easily entertained. If you are interested in this sort of thing, I recommend the old McHale's Navy TV program instead.