Impact zéro

In parts I laughed, especially at the editing errors that included repetition and an amusing stand up and then stand up again! Also funny were the shouted warnings just before meteors hit - some amazing ability to predict the unpredictable! The effects are mostly awful and there is some pretty bad acting, the real rotten tomato going to John Morrisey as General Ambrose. The former film editor should quickly return to behind the camera as his performance could at best be described as wooden. Several of those on screen try hard but this remake of the also awful 2011 version should never had made it to the screen. Even in lockdown for the coronavirus crisis, I could only sit through this whilst responding to my emails. Only watch for a laugh!

A giant asteroid is about to collide with Earth and a group of scientists in Wyoming are the only ones who understand the situation and what to do about it. Luckily one of them is married to the janitor at the air force base so they have access to the entire world's arsenal of nuclear ballistic missiles. Dialogue bordering on gibberish, continuity issues and "special" effects are highlights in this... series of scenes. Collision Earth also boasts a mercifully short runtime at 85 minutes. Are there any redeeming qualities? For one, even if whoever wrote this story understood absolutely nothing about the science of meteorites or military protocol, they did figure out that boring conversations can be made more exciting by inserting the most shell explosions to appear in a feature length movie since All Quiet On the Western Front. Also, another stellar performance by Eric Roberts who is part of arguably the most baffling and clumsily executed death scene ever filmed. While the film hits enough standards in mediocrity to lift it ever so slightly above sewer level, anyone looking for a "so bad it's good" experience will probably be disappointed. Collision Earth does not have that kind of charm.

If you are a fan of bad movies made for TV, this will do you fine. Personally I found it a struggle to stay to the end. The 1 dimensional characters, bad script and seriously cheap CGI make this movie a turkey for sure. I give this effort 1/10.

I think I'm still in shock. "But it's got Eric Roberts in." Let's start with the voices, They're annoying to say the least but nothing..NOTHING can prepare you for Colonel Ambrose.. who sounds like an angry 5 year old reading cue cards whilst trying out for his school play. "But yet, it's still got Eric Roberts in, Eric will save us!" Meteors, actual meteors hitting the ground, not leaving huge craters, humans diving out of the way or being thrown a few inches due to the impact, cars hit by meteors, thank god they dont burst into flames, somebody could have been hurt! "But it's ok,Eric Roberts is in it, he will save the world(and the movie), right ?" WRONG Gwen. Gwen our wonderful geologist a la Top Gun shall save the day, when she races to a trusty fighter jet, instantly knows how to fly it, and off she pops to fly next to the huge asteroid. The asteroid that is clearly now through Earths atmosphere yet the nukes are still caught in its gravity as it just puddles along. Turning the jet towards the ground she plummets (apparently at the speed of sound -even though I've seen faster moving Robin Reliants) towards the ground and the power plant below, using the jet as a missile. But do not fear for Super Gwen shall survive if only she can reach that ejector seat button, that is worryingly just out of reach, but never fear, she will get to it just in the nick of time. Phew. This enormous asteroid that is going to kill millions and cause near catastrophic disaster for our planet is destroyed in a puff of smoke that would make Sooty proud! Did I forget to mention, Wonder Gwen did all this whilst wearing her shorts and tshirt ? Amazing she is! It makes you wonder why real pilots get overdressed for a little fly around. In short, dont nip to the loo at the very beginning so you miss the ASYLUM logo, (like I did), as you will save yourself the trouble of watching this terrible pile of frog vomit.