Centrespread

Music is pure porno music, so you know what you are gonna get. In case you don't, you get real garbage served up on a poorly executed platter of bad directing, bad acting and a really bad story-line. I tries to be artsy but the people involved in making it have no clue how to do that. Instead you get a thoroughly boring piece of soft core *. It's hard to follow, because there really isnt and coherent plot. And the acting is remedial at best. Maybe even worse than that. Instead of being titillated by the abundance of female nudity, i was completely bored out of my mind hoping for this to be over and done. Who thought this movie would be a good idea?

If this review were rating Centrespread on softcore nudity alone, it would be a 10/10 all the way. We have many gorgeous Australian girl shedding their togs for the camera, and besides a bit of unwelcome male flesh much later on, it's a barbecue of babes all the way! Yee-ha! Alas, in terms of being an actually watchable motion picture, it's shortcomings are much more apparent, Whilst watching models rub their breasts whilst covered in body paint or engaging in faux-lesbian scenes together might be diverting for a while, the surrounding story... something about a photographer trying to find the 'next big discovery' or risk losing his job is so tedious, it would be better if it didn't exist at all. Eventually, even the T&A becomes repetitive regardless of how many different setting and backdrops they decide to throw at us, and the end result is a pretty worthless thing who's only redeeming features you can find freely on the Internet today anyway. P.S What exactly was the point in setting it in the future? Who knows? Who cares. 2/10

In 1981 Australia, the idea of the future that we live in today was one dominated by magazines. Those magazines would enforce the social order and the only violence and sex that anyone would see would be in those pages. So yeah, maybe they didn't get the internet part down, but I guess some of this movie rings true. That said, if you're expecting an Australian soft core movie to explain 2021, you're drongo, mate. Also, in the Australia of Centrespread, a movie that disappeared from theaters and most peoples' memories until Umbrella re-released it, social castes are enforced and only by finding a new girl for the magazine will our protagonist keep moving up the social ladder. Yet when he meets and falls for Niki, he sees that life can mean something more. However, she gets an offer to be a big star. Director Tony Paterson was an editor on Mad Max, Fantasm, Fantasm Comes Again and Death Games before getting behind the camera for the only film he'd direct. This movie feels like something great is happening within it. It really is the difference between art and exploitation, because if you told someone this was a French film that only played small festivals, people would lose their mind. Tell them it played double bills with Felicity in Australia and they think it's garbage.

When I was younger I read a book about the history of cinematic Sci-Fi by the late John Brosnan. He spent some time discerning between "classical sci-fi" which deals with the implications of future technology or circumstances (such as 2001, Mad Max II or Bladerunner); "space opera" fare (which are "universal myth"-type films adapted to a sci-fi setting; Star Wars is the obvious example); and finally - films/story lines which could just as easily be set in the current day and have nothing to do at all with sci-fi beyond using its trappings as a marketing hook (Outland might be an example). Naturally an aficionado of sci-fi like Brosnan was contemptuous of the last category. Some time later I saw Centrespread on late-night TV and I immediately thought "Wow! This is exactly what he was talking about in his book!" The premise of the plot as I understand it (from memory; this was about 1994) is that in the dystopian future, the powers-that-be published a * mag to keep the rebellious masses docile; the protagonist is a photographer working for that publication. Beyond the costumes, sets and occasional references to the "badlands of Sector G", it's a soap opera about the photographer, his model and his boss. Other than that, it looks and sounds like it's set in late-'70s Adelaide and the surrounding environs like Maslin Beach (conveniently clothing-optional for the location shots); which as a native of the locale is fascinating to me. The only thing dystopian about it is the grim and shocking vision of cameras that were apparently going to get encumberingly larger rather than smart-phone sized. We dodged a bullet there, kids! The stilted acting, uninspired dialogue and crummy effects are naturally awesome, but I'll second everybody else and suggest that it could have used more nudity. I'll also assume that the budget could have stretched further if they'd just set it in the Adelaide of the day rather than the vaguely Mad Max-ian future - the story wouldn't have suffered. One of those fascinating films which purport to say something about the future they're set in but end up saying more about the past they were produced in. I'd watch it again - hopefully next time accompanied.

There's precious little to like in this dumb flick. The female lead is a centrefold model who shows no evidence of having been to acting school and thankfully hasn't been heard of since. The male leads plays his camp character as dislikable, pretentious and effete. There is a vague sci-fi plot supported by some truly ridiculous futuristic camera gear. As an exploitation flick it doesn't get off the ground because the heroine can't project any erotic heat and simpering innocence won't carry the day. And contrary to expectations she doesn't disrobe much. As a sci-fi yarn it sinks without trace because of the low budget sets and props. It was made at a time when tax breaks were the main motive for much film financing in Australia. The quality of the product was secondary, as in second rate. Just like here.