Bermuda Tentacles

Linda Hamilton looks like her own grandmother. I didn't recognize her for 20 minutes. How sad to see people age badly and do garbage in their later years. Even Olivier did bad horror movies the last few years, but she hit rock bottom with this. It also tells me her asking price must be 5 digits. Her voice is sooo deep she clearly is a longtime smoker. What a mess she has become. Oh this movie sucks by the way.

The first review I read about this, titled "Linda! No!" by Mike Boyd (https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3032065/) actually captured my feelings about Linda Hamilton's involvement in this terrible film perfectly. Air Force One crashes somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. The Navy is sent to rescue the president, headed up by Linda Hamilton's Admiral Linda Hansen, and her charges. Things get weird when they are attacked by alien-esque tentacles which have the ability to shoot. The entire Navy is ground to a halt due to the giant tentacles. A maverick Naval officer, Chief Trip Oliver, who has had run in's with the admiral before manages to steal a sub and talk a crew into falling him into rescuing the president. They discover an underwater cave which is also a graveyard for everything that has been lost in the Bermuda Triangle, also in this cave though is an alien space ship, presumably which was controlling the tentacles too. They rescue the president but have awoken the alien force. The space ship takes flight and starts destroying things, slowly heading for land and larger populations. It's up to the Navy to destroy is and save the world. Bad acting... actually let me be clear - REALLY REALLY BAD ACTING with a terrible script to work from judging by the lines that are delivered. Everything felt flat, including the terrible acting when the sub was being thrashed about - William Shatner and the original Star Trek cast looked more authentic when they were getting shaken around on the Enterprise - and that was cheesy and camp - this film is just awful at it. Terrible and cheap special effects which could have been beaten by a preschool class and a box of play-doh. A plot with more holes than cartoon Swiss cheese. Poor pacing which mixed a sprint with a crawl at different and inappropriate times. Obvious continuity mistakes and gaffes throughout - did you not see the holes in the atmosphere suit, or the helicopter than changed make/model between different shots. Worse of all, despite all the above, the thing I really couldn't overlook - the film gives the impression it's taking itself seriously!!! At least with things like "Sharknado" you know that its tongue in cheek and it's not taking itself seriously. This film seems to think it's the next "Independence Day". If Linda Hamilton had of turned to the camera after delivering some terrible dialogue, and winked to show that she knew this was a steaming pile too, maybe then I'd have forgiven the film for not thinking it was an undiscovered masterpiece of B-Movie movies. Sorry, I can only give this 2 out of 10, and that's only because I didn't turn it off. I really wanted to, but managed to resist the urge. I really hope I don't have to watch this rubbish ever again.

Don't let the whinging reviewers fool you. This isn't the low budget 50s style sci-fi movie which the title suggests. It's a classy film with a whole fleet of U.S. Navy ships, big guns, sailors armed with bazookas, a missing President, a bunch of US marines in a high tech submarine, tough Admiral Linda Hamilton (from Terminator) and, yes, big, freakin' tentacles in the Bermuda Triangle. But there's lots more, which I can't tell you about without giving away the story. The cast is great, there's no ham acting, the movie is fast moving (the action begins from the first moment and continues right to the end), the special effects are great and the plot, well, OK, maybe it's a bit thin, but who cares? Big, freakin' tentacles, right? Actually, there's one gripe I have about the film and that's that the guy leading the US marines is Chief Oliver. That's Chief Petty Officer, an enlisted rank. I thought that only commissioned officers would lead missions like the ones in this film. But that's a very small niggle. If you like exciting adventures, particularly if you enjoy the series the Last Ship, you'll like this. Set sail to your nearest video store (or online library), rent this, microwave some popcorn, maybe open a beer and have a great evening.