Barbarian Queen

I don't have much to say about this film. I was 13 when it first came out, and I saw it on video in '86. My only reason for watching this film was for the scantily dressed women warriors that were in it, having sex nearly every other scene. The torture chamber was my favorite scene, and the best line in the movie was when the torturer had Lana Clarkson on the rack, and after a brief torture, he decides to "bone" her. His reason, aside from suddenly being horny is "You're making a contribution to science." That line had me in stitches. Remember this line fellas the next time your girlfriend holds out on you!

Terrible, terrible, terrible movie, that came out during the outburst of Conan clones of the early to mid Eighties, based on a no-plot or always the same plot situation and plethora of good looking women, possibly naked and often raped, that eventually get their revenge and won the day. This one shows the beauty that was the late Lana Clarkson, already cast in several other movies of that kind, as a very unfortunate bride to be that saw her village devastated the day of her marriage and her sister and spouse ransomed by savages. She will have them back in the end, but after several efforts. Stupid, bad acted, with not enough nudes to really satisfy a voyeur and too much cartoonish violence. It is without a single redeeming quality. Avoid at all cost

Typical 80's sword-and-sandal opus, filled with uncowvincing fights, silly names, and much pointless t&a. The twist with this one is with Lana Clarkson, the D-cup destroyer from Deathstalker, and she is a kind of pre-Xena fighting wiz. When nasty warriors steal her hubby & burn her village, she leads a small band of plucky bimbos in slinky leather outfits to exact revenge. While not as terrible as some in this genre (ie: Red Sonja, Warrior Queen), Barbarian Queen is still indifferently acted, poorly produced, and ill-cowceived. The tacky t&a scenes add to the overall sleaze of the moovie - the moovie also goes by the lurid title of Queen of the Naked Steel, and oh cow they try to live up to it. Because of it's quirky, stinky charm, MooCow says fire up the vcr fer Bimbos with Broadswords Night, and pop in Barbarian Queen! ;=8)

The only reason I can recommend this movie is if you want to see women showing off their tits. Sorry. I had to say it. There is nothing else worth watching here. Sloppy editing, bad acting (Lana Clarkson and Katt Shea shows their acting talents (both of them) and crap music. I have to admit that I fell asleep during the middle of this movie as well. I love sword-and-sorcery, adventure and fantasy movies but this is just tiresome. The story is promising enough (as a revenge flick), but the warrior women only manage to get captured every few minutes so that they can be tortured (topless, of course). Watch something else instead. Is it a sequel you say? Do you think that I'm going to watch it?

I reviewed the sequel to this film a while back so I thought what the hell, I might as well re-watch the first one and write a review for this as well. Anyways, Lana Clarksen stars as Amethea, all ready to marry Prince Argan. When all of a sudden Roman soldiers attack the peaceful village, kill the man and rape the woman and sell them as slaves. Amathea can't stand for that so she, and two other floozies...um...I mean "barbarians" seek out to avenge the town. Horribly acted, moronic action, and not even funny or amusing in a campy way. the bottom of the sword & sorcery barrel, fling this one in the dung heap along with it's sequel. My Grade: F Eye Candy: Lana Clarkson, Dawn Dunlap, Katt Shea, and Susana Traverso get topless

Set during the days of the Roman Empire. A simple village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves. What do you get when you mix Roger Corman and Argentina? Apparently a bad knockoff of Conan the Barbarian. Not that this is all that terrible -- a group of tough women (before Xena came along) who take on the Romans. A little bit of butt-kicking... The reason I have given this a lower mark than it might deserve is because I found the nudity to be gratuitous even by Corman's standards. The film opens with a sexual assault that can possibly be defended, as it kicks off the revenge plot. But the topless torture and random nudity continues throughout... it is clear the goal here was not to tell an adventure story, but merely to get women naked.