Angels' Brigade

"Angels' Brigade" is about as angelic as a root canal. Seemingly produced for a bunch of men whose hormones outweigh their body mass, the movie follows a bunch of big-breasted women who set out to bring down a drug kingpin's empire. Since there's not really any plot, the movie is mainly noticeable because it stars two "Gilligan's Island" cast members: Alan Hale and Jim Backus (and wouldn't you know it, they don't even get to share any scenes). Although I gave the movie one star, it gets five out of four stars when shown on "MST3K", and that's only because it gives Mike, Servo and Crow an incentive to come up with some great comments. I'd say that that episode was their most "Gilligan's Island"-related, not just because "Angels' Brigade" stars the Skipper and Mr. Howell, but also because certain scenes prompt Mike and the 'bots to mention Bob Denver, Natalie Schaefer and Tina Louise (what, no Russell Johnson or Dawn Wells?).

In a desperate attempt to capitalize on "Charlie's Angels", this movie pits seven (six, really) buxom, bejumpsuited beauties against the evil forces of Peter Lawford, Jack Palance, and some oily guy, all three of whom are pushing drugs on kids (who weren't getting paid for speaking roles). Lawford and Palance were probably down in the wine cellar for most of the filming, but where else can you see Pat Buttram, Alan Hale, jr., Jim Backus AND Arthur Godfrey all drool over the same women in one flick? One of the best MST3Ks.

Oh, this film is horrible, make no mistake about it. The reason I gave it a 7 is because it's so bad as a straight-faced movie that it's an A+ as garbage! This film is really really bad, I don't have to tell you that. But if you are looking for a few hours of "oh my God, I can't believe they made this", it's not bad. MST3K spoofed it awhile back, and it's one of their better episodes. And, get this -- I knew Susan Kiger (AKA - the singer)! She is still hot, and a very sweet person. I was watching the MST3K version one day, and realized -- OHMYGOD, I know her! I brought it up to her, and she laughed and was shocked that I knew the movie. I gave her a copy of the MST3k version (funny, since they rip on her pretty harshly), and she loved it! What a good sport!

Even watching this from the relative safety of MST3K, I felt offended at the events being shown. Jack Palance running around in that suit! Alan Hale, never being able to escape the role of The Skipper, and Mr. Howell er, Jim Backus, throwing away whatever dignity he had. Then there's our main characters. A very broad (no pun intended) range of just about every ethnicity, job, stereotype that you could think of. Very bad acting from our leading ladies here. I would like to think that Jack took this role on advice from his agent, who was probably drunk, and then quickly fired him. On a slightly different note, the cinematographer was one Dean Cundey. He has since gone on to bigger and better films such as Apollo 13.

Here's a typical Mystery Science Theater 3000 flick, as seven large-breasted women take on a drug syndicate headed by Jack Palance and Peter Lawford. Not only is it a dumb rip-off of CHARLIE'S ANGELS in which the women run into battle like they're wearing high heels, but it is a catalogue of movie-making goofs, including mismatched shots, bad lip-syncing, visible cameras and crossing the line. Much of the production money seems to have been spent on short appearances by Arthur Godfrey, Alan Hale Jr. and Jim Backus. Writer/producer/director Greydon Clark may be better known for SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS; he has certainly never done better than this inept piece of garbage.