A Bigger Splash

If you liked last year's Birdman, you might like A Bigger Splash. But if you're not into "arty" films, don't bother with this one. Ralph Fiennes is manic, Tilda Swinton faffs around looking pale and (not particularly) interesting plus she isn't remotely convincing as a rock star (she barely exudes enough energy to make a cup of tea, let alone convince us that she could perform to a stadium of rock fans), Matthias Schoenaerts is nice eye candy and the other characters are just plain irritating. It's an adaptation of an old French film La Piscine. Plenty of nudity, more than a few artfully shot sex scenes thrown in for good measure and lots and lots of long, meaningful looks. You have been warned.

Apart from the foreground story I felt there was a theme in this film about how Northern Europeans treat and consider other parts of Europe. The clues: the way the Italians give up their table to the "celebrity" guests, the way we view the policeman who is so mesmerised by a celeb that he forgets what is job is, the ricotta making, the way these 4 idiots treat these dignified people with such arrogance and condescension. All that behaviour should disgust us but he shows it nuanced enough that we might think he's romanticising it. It's subtle enough that I think the director is laughing at any of us that don't notice it. Same with the karaoke scene. Like a dreamy Italian town would really care if this lot showed up and sang badly. That's what us Londoners (or similar) like to think and sometimes show in other films romanticising our holidays in Tuscany, Provence, Barcelona (or similar). We treat them like our playground but are completely oblivious to the arrogance of it. I thought the director set a fabulous trap - some people watching this will be blind to those aspects, but any one who has been on the receiving end will see what he's highlighting. This bit might be over-thinking it but if even said something to me about how some Europeans want out of Europe, when it suits us. How dare we!

There's something that made this film really come together well in the beginning. I didn't think it entirely successful, and many people will not take to its meandering tone and feel. More importantly, the character beats all seemed to work well. Yet at the same time, the longer it went on, the more and more I disliked it. The longer it went on, the more obnoxious it became, and what was initially interesting and intriguing became really lazy and uninspired. The more original the film thought it was, the more aggravating it was. I can't even really pick any specifics, it just did not sit right with me. The cast itself was good, and the film definitely wasn't following any clichés or formulas, so perhaps I would feel like rewatching it in the future and that would change my mind. But oh no, not right now.

It's gotten to the point where I'm going to look for low critics' scores and watch those films. This is a 125 minute movie that is in need for serious editing and a new screenplay. Not much happens, it is boring and pretentious. It is a clear indication how important the script and story are. No matter how well the actors act and how pretty the scenery is, a less than compelling story will destroy the film. I ended up fast forwarding and was still bored. It's Ralph Fiennes' picture, he is a wonderful actor as is Tilda Swinton, but both performances are wasted here. Save your money and two hours of your time, this film is not worth either!

The getaway-retreat scenario is a common film device for creating a chaotic crossroad where divergent character types can bring their shady pasts, chronic problems and deviant desires. It works well in the melodrama genre because people act differently when brought together, especially in a luxurious or exotic location where they can let go and be who they really are: recent examples include Youth (2015) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014). A Bigger Splash (2016) does this using a beautiful Sicilian hillside villa with a prominent pool for baring bodies and souls. To keep the plot line taut there are only four actors who play out in two pairs and the chemistry is anything but harmonious. An almost silent Marianne (played by Tilda Swinton) is a once-famous rock star who is recuperating from throat surgery with her former alcoholic boyfriend Paul (Matthias Schoenaerts). They couple happily all over the villa until her extroverted and still-hungry former flame Harry (Ralph Fiennes) suddenly turns up with his sullen and sultry teenage daughter Penelope (Dakota Johnson). The tension lines appear quickly and the dynamics morph seamlessly towards an erotic thriller. Harry and daughter are overly physical with each other, Paul is derailed by the teenager's libido, Marianne dabbles with forbidden fruit, while the men circle each other with malice. Harry's use of his daughter as bait turns out to make him the catch while the beautifully photographed Sicilian landscape dwarfs four small lives and the mess they create. All of the actors deserve accolades but Fiennes stands out for his ability to plausibly and expressively switch from manic exuberance to emotional vulnerability. He drives the story forward both narratively and as its primary entertainer. Swinton and Johnson are perfect for their respective positions on the femme fatale spectrum, and Schoenaerts captures what many will say is the most complex role of this story. With fine acting, classic landscape photography, a great soundtrack, and an engaging story to tell, one would expect that the whole would be greater than the sum of its parts. But this circular tale simply leads back to where it starts and leaves a vague feeling they have not gone far. As with so many films, it will be judged on its final moments.

I watched this movie this afternoon, and I'm still not sure why I did so. The local newspaper said it was a "thriller" and I like thrillers, but this movie was as thrilling and as fast-paced as molasses. Fiennes is as good as expected and Dakota Johnson actually does a pretty decent job, but everything/body else sucked (including the much ballyhooed Tilda Swinton - in a BIG way). Basically, the movie follows this script: there are two men and two women. Both men are interested in the same woman. A murder then happens. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... If you like snail-paced and pretentious, go watch this flick. Otherwise, go get an ice cream and watch ANYthing else on TV...

The story line dragged on and on. The characters were totally unlikable and it felt like I had company over for a couple hours that were most annoying. If the purpose of this film was to show how shallow creative types and their managers are then I get it. If it is to show how truly boring the rich can be, then I get it and if it is to show how monotonous the directors politics are then I guess this film could have some merit. Do not waste your money on this film. It goes nowhere. The scenery is dried up and obviously so was the writers mind. If you like old drunks dropping in for a couple weeks then you'll possibly like a film like this, but if you have a life and any self respect you'll watch another film. A film should not be drudgery.

For 45 minutes straight I watched and listened (while my ears bled) to Ralph Fiennes talk non-stop about nothing. The only nudity was him and Swinton which I am still trying to forget. I walked out because even knowing the hot girl was going to get naked, this terrible film was so excruciatingly grating I had to leave. If I could have turned up my mp3 loud enough I would have stayed for the sex and murder but no luck. Let me add that it was such a waste of time and money that instead of requesting a refund which I deserved, I vowed instead to write negative reviews about this revolting film on every site I could join. So this is my first review on IMDb thanks to "Bigger Diarrhea Splash." Critics will rave about any film with drugs, sex and old, worn out stars.