Fantastic Models

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* I bought this one from Blockbuster for five bucks. Three models head off to Hong Kong for a photo shoot. They get involved with a spy ring and some other nonsense. They strike a pose and lose some clothes. Microfilms, revolutionaries and other misfits mix it up with the models. This was a typically brainless 70's exploitation movie. On the plus side, all the models get topless. But the spy storyline was completely inane. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Most of the movie is spent watching the models model. So we are treated to many fashion shoots. Excited yet? There is a big gun battle at the end but none of the models are topless during it.

One of the last movies New World Pictures made in the Philippines - due to rising costs - this was directed by Cirio H. Santiago and written by Howard R. Cohen. Outside of Hollywood Boulevard, it's also the last of the New World occupation movies. Barbara (Pat Anderson, Summer School Teachers), Claire (Lindsay Bloom, The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood) and Mandy (Tara Strohmeier, Van Nuys Blvd.) are, well, cover girl models flying from Los Angeles to Hong Kong for a photo shoot. As always, the three girls each get an adventure: Barbara finds a microfilm that several spies are looking for, Claire wants to be in a movie and Mandy falls for a photographer. If you know me, you know that I wish this movie had been about fashion editor Diane (Mary Woronov), who only makes an appearance in the first few minutes. But hey! Vic Diaz shows up as a bad guy. This didn't really get a big release in 1975, but a year later - and a time when Charlie's Angels was big deal - it came back out.

This movie is quite simply horrible. I only watched it because Mary Woronov was in it. Barely in it. It's mostly shot overseas -- Singapore. No on can act and the story is just too silly to keep your interest. Besides Mary, there is another woman, whose name I can't place but whose face is familiar from Grind house flicks of the 70's. Unfortunately this movie isnt really grindhouse by any standard. It's just a dull exercise in bad acting, bad directing and bad writing. I'm not familiar with the director but apparently, based on some other reviews, he has a history of making slow tiresome movies.

"Cover Girl Models" is one film without much of a plot it's just a vice a feel good story of action and skin with some sexy * female scenes and sex. Three Young fashion models go to Hong Kong with hopes of shining in a fashion show only to be crashed upon by bad guys. The action is okay still the eye candy of attractive ladies and skin scenes dominate. Overall a cult picture to watch if you enjoyed this kind of stuff from the 70's otherwise it's nothing really great.

Three beautiful American models -- chipper Barbara (lovely Pat Anderson), sweet Claire (the equally fetching Lindsay Bloom), and ditsy novice Mandy (the adorable Tara Strohmeier) -- find themselves in considerable jeopardy during a modeling assignment in Singapore after an invaluable roll of microfilm is sewed into one of their gowns. Director Cirio H. Santiago, working from a blithely inane script by Howard R. Cohen, relates the amiably silly story at a snappy pace, maintains a breezy'n'easy good-natured tone throughout, delivers a copious amount of tasty female nudity, and stages the occasional martial arts fight with an endearing ineptitude that's good for a few unintentional laughs. This movie is further energized by the spirited acting by a neat cast of familiar 70's exploitation cinema regulars: Bloom, Strohmeier, and Anderson are all comely, sexy, and charming as the titular trio, John Kramer contributes a solid performance as slick'n'smarmy photographer Mark, and the ubiquitous Vic Diaz excels in one of his trademark oily villain roles as the nefarious Kulik, plus there are amusing bits by Mary Woronov as uptight executive Diane and Rhonda Leigh Hopkins as the snippy and stuck-up Pamela. Felipe Sacdalan's sunny cinematography gives the picture an attractive bright look. D'Amarillo's bouncy'n'groovy score hits the right-on happening spot. Best of all, the tight 73 minute running time ensures that this flick never gets dull or overstays its welcome. A really enjoyable diversion.

Enjoyable, brief 'n' breezy drive in fare from New World that serves as quite a good companion piece to "Fly Me". "Cover Girl Models" follows a trio of luscious young women - Barbara (Pat Anderson), Claire (Lindsay Bloom), and Mandy (Tara Strohmeier) - as they have misadventures funny, serious, trashy, and action packed. The difference is that in "Fly Me" the ladies were stewardesses; here they're fashion models. They travel with photographer Mark (John Kramer) to Asia for a series of shoots; the fun starts when a valuable roll of microfilm is secretly sewed inside one of their dresses. "Cover Girl Models", running a respectable 74 minutes, has all the ingredients to make it easily digestible stuff for exploitation fans. It's mostly effective as a showcase for the charms of these babes, as they strut their stuff and we get a good look at those bodies; there's a healthy dose of bare breasts. The screenplay is by Howard R. Cohen, whose other credits include "The Unholy Rollers", "The Young Nurses", "Saturday the 14th", and "Deathstalker", and prolific Cirio Santiago is the producer / director; he'd previously worked with actress Anderson on "Fly Me" and "T.N.T. Jackson". This being shot in the Philippines, there's naturally a role for the ever welcome Vic Diaz, and Ken Metcalfe, two guys familiar to fans of Filipino cinema. There's also a very nice cameo for Mary Woronov, appearing quickly early on and giving us an eyeful of some lovely legs. The music score by D'Amarillo is often extremely amusing and Santiago keeps the story moving along well, preventing it from ever getting boring and treating us to the usual not-terribly-well- staged fight scenes; the climactic shootout is a hoot. This is the kind of thing where it doesn't matter how forgettable it may be in the end, it's pretty fun for the duration. Seven out of 10.

This film is classed as a thriller; it is the story of three young fashion models away on location in Hong Kong, who somehow become mixed up in an international espionage ring. Apart from being difficult to follow, this story was absolute punk and hopefully the scriptwriter involved was subsequently advised to take an early retirement. Nevertheless the film features some delightful vacation scenery which brought back memories of holidays I would not want to forget, as well as the group of charming models who provide various fashion shows of their very attractive summer outfits. What more should one expect? The cinematography was generally fully adequate, and at this level there was very little to criticise. I would not want to keep watching it, but I can enjoy an occasional re-run with complete equanimity. However, the primary reason why my copy of this film occupies an important place in my collection of DVD and VCD disks, is its unusually short running time (73 min.). I am often glad to have a few short films that run for not much more than an hour available for the entertainment of the children of guests who cannot stay very much longer than this. Since most home videos were originally produced as films intended for showing in movie houses, most tend to run for 90 min. or more, and very few meet my 75 minute requirement. Because Centrefold Models helps to fill this important gap I am rating it more highly than I might otherwise have done at 4/10.

For the most part, I do not like the movies of Cirio H. Santiago, even though they are exploitation movies. Though I love exploitation movies, I find Santiago's exploitation movies to be cheap and dull. To be fair, "Cover Girl Models" is a little slicker and more polished than what you usually get from Santiago. However, he was unable to pull off in the end fooling the audience to thinking the Filipino filming locations were actually Hong Kong locations. He does throw in some ample toplessness from the female cast, which is welcome. And the movie is well photographed, looking very nice on the DVD. But exploitation fans will probably fall asleep before the end because the movie, except for a couple of genuinely exciting kung fu sequences is extremely dull. If you want to see a good Santiago movie, watch "Eye Of The Eagle 3".

"They're fast. They're beautiful. They're deadly. They have to be....to survive". That's the tagline of "Cover Girl Models" on my VHS cover, and based on that and on the names of Cirio H. Santiago and Pat Anderson (who kicked a lot of butt the same year in the same director's "T.N.T Jackson"), I was expecting an action film with tough girls. Disappointingly, there is very little action in this movie and nearly all of it is done by men (yawn). In truth, nothing much happens throughout the film, there are endless filler sequences, the main plot is murky, the various subplots are introduced and then dropped, and even the shootout climax is weak. The girls are infectiously cute and occasionally *, but neither them nor the exotic locations (Hong Kong and Singapore) can stop the 70-minute running time from feeling more like 2 hours! (*)